Stretch Marks

Yesterday morning when I was having my shower, Eliza came in and saw my stretchmarks on my stomach. I wouldn't normally write about these but it was a conversation that I hope will stick with her.

Eliza: Are the lines on your tummy scars?

Me: Yes they are.

Eliza: Why are there so many and how did they get there?

Me: They came from having you and your brothers grow in my tummy. My tummy used to be flat but then when each of you started to grow in my tummy it pushed my skin out to here (showing a larger tummy) and my skin stretched as much as it could and then it still needed to stretch more so it pulled it making the scars so you could each fit in my tummy.

Eliza: It's like a rubber band.

Me: Yep. And if you stretch a rubber band more than it can go it can't go back to its original shape. That's the same as my tummy.

Eliza: And the scars won't go away? 

Me: No. But that's ok. I love these scars because they remind me that each of you grew in my tummy and that I am your Mummy.

Self image for me has always been a tricky thing in my mind. I don't always see myself as pretty. I don't really like my size, my thighs, my butt. Before having kids I liked my tummy and since having them I have found it hard to not have my stomach like it was prekids. I look at some photos and think 'I look fat' or 'I look pregnant'. But I also know what a blessing it is to have been able to have my 3 kids. To fall pregnant easily, to have the kids grow to full term inside me, to have smooth births. I know that some women would love to have these lines if it meant that they easily had babies, if it meant that their babies weren't premature, if it meant that their babies were born healthy. I know these lines are a blessing and a memory that is so special to me.

Also, having had a girl, I am trying to be quite positive about how I view myself and talk about my body. I know that many girls struggle with self image and I want to try and help Eliza have a positive perspective of herself and the body she has. At the moment she sticks her tummy out and says 'Look how fat my tummy is'. I tell her that it isn't fat and that it doesn't matter if she has a large tummy or not. She is beautiful and gorgeous inside and out. 

I have no idea how I will go when comments come out as she grows up about self image. I hope that I have the right words. I hope that she will listen and accept that she is beautiful. Maybe I show her my stretch lines each time and remind her how beautiful they are and special they are, even though it makes my stomach larger, it is fine to have it. Time will tell.