These last couple of days Daniel has asked me a few times if I am scared of anything. The first time he asked me it kinda threw me off guard. I know that I am scared of things but 'what' exactly was hard for me to pinpoint. Some things that came to mind I know I am worried about or nervous about, but not exactly scared of.
The first time he asked me I said I am scared of insects and bugs crawling on me. I don't really know if I am 'scared' or if I just really don't like it. Would I have it happen if I had a choice? No. Would I let it happen if I had to? I guess so. But I really wouldn't like it. I do know that.
Then tonight at dinner he asked me again if I was scared of anything. I said yes again. I repeated I'm scared of insects crawling on me. He asked if I was scared of anything else. Because I'd been thinking about it since he last asked me, I said I was scared of 2 more things. 1 thing is of losing their Daddy or one of them. I know that we will get to see each other again in Heaven, but I don't really want that to happen any time soon. The 2nd thing is linked, that as they grow up I am scared that one or all of them might decide that they don't want to be friends with Jesus. If that happens I'll be very sad because I won't see them again in Heaven.
Being a parent is the best job but also the hardest one. It is so stressful at times. It is so tricky to know if you're doing the right thing all the time. Are you being a good role model or not? I guess you can only do the best you can do and trust in God to do the rest.
Interesting that he's asking these questions too. I asked him if he was scared of anything and he said no. I asked him if he thought it was ok to be scared of anything and he said yes. That's good to know. Eliza then said that she is scared of scary dreams and Alexander said he is scared of things too but couldn't really grasp what he was scared of. Interesting chats. I hope my kids keep asking these sots of questions and having open discussions as they get older.
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