Thoughts

Some things that happen in life really make you grateful for what you have got. This morning I found out that my cousin and his wife had their beautiful baby girl, but sadly after an hour she passed away. This news really hit me hard, harder than I thought it would. We knew there were complications and that things would be hard when she was born, but it is so sad to hear the news. Lucy got to spend such a short time with her beautiful family. It made me think again of the whole birth experience with Daniel and I imagined myself in Emma's shoes. How hard it must be for her to go through all that pain to have the reward for such a short time. How hard it will be for he body to go through all the changes it experiences, but to not have Lucy there to benefit from it all. How hard it will be to return home, where you have prepared a room for your gorgeous baby, and have made adjustments in preparation for your family to be a group of 3. What they must have seen when the doctors would have been treating Lucy must have been so hard to watch. When Daniel needed oxygen for 5mins, it was hard for me to watch. I feel so sad for Emma and Andrew, my amazing cousins. I feel so sorry for them as they have gone through such an amazing time for such a short period. I am praying for them and each time I look at Daniel, I think of them.
I am so grateful for my baby boy. I am so thankful to God that he is well and that he is growing and developing so well. This whole experience though makes me wonder why some people get healthy babies and why some don't. It makes me wonder why God allowed this to happen - I don't doubt him, I don't question my belief in him, but I do question why He lets it happen. Part of me feels bad having Daniel - a healthy baby - so close to Lucy, but I know that is silly and that he is a blessing and that my family do absolutely love him, but I just find it hard to be so filled with joy for having him, but also so much sorrow for Andrew and Emma's loss. As the title says, these are just some thoughts that are going through my mind today. Life sometimes can be so hard and unfair.