Tamworth

On Sunday James and I did a mini car trip to the Blue Mountains to see our old pastor Neil. It was  so lovely to catch up with him again and to have him meet Daniel. We went to the 10:30 church service to hear him preach on Prayer and obstacles to praying which was good to hear and be challenged about. We also had communion. Daniel was great on the whole but during communion prayer he decided that he wasn't very happy while feeding. He started to get fussy but as it was in the middle of a prayer I just pushed him into me so that his voice was muffled. After pulling him off and giving him a hug he was much happier. He then slept for the rest of the service on James and slept during lunch. We then went back to Neil's place for a chat, Daniel to have a feed and then a nice cuddle with Neil. I'm looking forward to catching up with him again soon!

Then on Monday James and I went on our first long car trip with Daniel. We went all the way to Tamworth to see our wonderful family and to farewell Lucy, my cousin Andrew's baby girl. As this was our first long trip we both didn't really know how Daniel was going to go. Part of me thought that he would sleep the whole way there if we let him, but then another part of me worried that he would be ok for the start but then grumpy for the rest of the trip. Fortunately he was wonderful for the trip. He was happy to feed at 2 different stops along the way and he was also happy to sleep in the car. Basically James and I wouldn't have known he was there besides the fact that we put him into the car. Champion!

On Monday night we went over to my Auntie and Uncle's place for dinner. It was so lovely to see them all again but it was hard, as we were introducing them to Daniel for the first time after they had just lost their grandchild and niece. I was nervous about how they would be with him as I'm  sure it is hard to see another baby. I offered them to have a cuddle with Daniel and it was so beautiful to see how happy and excited they were to hold him.

I love this photo of Uncle Mark holding Daniel and them both just looking at each other!

 Uncle Mark later told me that it was so lovely to hold Daniel and to be able to cuddle him. It really helped with the healing process. I'm so glad. Auntie Ros said the same thing. They both were also amazing at understanding and recognising that this was a hard time for me too considering the situation. But they really were appreciative and so grateful to have met him. It was hard looking at the photos of their gorgeous girl. She was just so swollen and the photos of them holding her - which should be happy - you could just see the sadness and sorrow in their faces. It broke my heart as each photo I looked at, I remembered the opposite image of James and I holding Daniel and the smiles and joy which was evident in ours. It was really hard to look at the pictures of her, but also so nice to be able to see this little girl who was so dearly loved.

At the apartment, Daniel had a great time playing with his portable mobile from Nana and Poppy as well as playing with Nana, Poppy and Auntie Jenny. Jens was putting her finger up infront of him and he was able to grab it (after a lot of focus and concentration!). Clever boy!

It was also Daniel's first time being in the port-a-cot. We weren't too sure how he would go with this as it was unfamiliar and he ususally woke up at Mum and Dad's place when sleeping in their port-a-cot. But he was a champion and slept right through. He looks so little in the big cot!

The next day was really hard. It was Lucy's funeral. We had decided that James would take Daniel for the morning because it wasn't appropriate for him to be there and even more inappropriate if Daniel started to cry during it - it would just be too hard for Andrew and Emma! So I left James and Daniel to go and get a coffee. I am so amazed at the strength, courage and faith that both Emma and Andrew showed, and continue to show. When I gave Emma a hug, the first thing she asked was 'How is your little man?'. It brought me to tears. How can she be so loving to think about me and my baby when we were at the funeral of her own? It was so hard to answer 'He is good' knowing that she didn't have a chance to say that about Lucy. Then I heard her apologising for making me cry. Oh dear. It then continued to be hard. It was nice to hear from my cousin Mel that she had been in a similar situation when she had just had her first baby - Kaysey, and also to hear from Auntie Barb about how hard it was when she was pregnant with Nat. I was nice to hear that the feelings I had are normal and that others in my situation would feel the same. It was so hard to go up and place some petals on Lucy's coffin. So little, so petite. But I felt I needed to do it to show support to Andrew and Emma. 

After the funeral I asked Emma and Andrew if it was ok for James and Daniel to come and meet up with us all at the wake. Emma said that she would love to meet him (amazing!) and Andrew said that it was ok if Emma was ok with it (he was/is such a supportive husband!). It was lovely that when we arrived at the wake, both Andrew and Emma got up and came to us to meet Daniel - this alleviated my anxiety of them meeting him. Emma apologised for any tears she would have and I told her it was ok, I'd probably join her in crying and that it was totally understandable. She had a cuddle with Daniel who became quite grizzly. I think the toll of the long car trip the day before, plus meeting so many new faces and being held by lots of different people started to catch up with him. 

Beautiful Emma with Daniel - she is so amazing in how she is working through her sorrow!

 Andrew then had a cuddle with him and again he started to get grizzly. We tried to have Daniel smile, but he wouldn't have a bar of it.

 I was feeling bad because I wanted Daniel to be happy for them at this time of sorrow. They both loved meeting him and having cuddles with him though. While Daniel was being held with Andrew, Emma was talking to him and told him that in many, many, many years when he goes up to Heaven, he will get to meet his cousin Lucy. Out of the blue, Daniel smiled. This absolutely melted Emma's heart and made her day.

I am so glad and so proud of Daniel that he was able to make a loving, happy, memorable moment on such a hard day for them. It is something that Emma mentioned a couple of times and it will stay with her for many years to come. Good job bubba. He also settled down in Andrew's arms for a while which was lovely too. I was so happy for them to have cuddles with him for as long as they needed to.
That night Daniel again slept through - little champion! We decided because he did so well in the port-a-cot, he was going to be upgraded to his cot at home. No more bassinet. Eeek.

Sleeping in his cot! Champ! He slept really well.

The car trip home again was great. We managed to have just one feeding stop which Daniel was mostly happy about. 15mins out from home he woke up and was hungry and let us know it. But it was too close to home for us to stop so we pushed through and he survived. He did enjoy the stop at the park in the sun.

Nana putting on sunglasses so it wasn't so glarey for Daniel

So overall Daniel was a champion to travel with! I am so proud of him and for the joy that he brought to my family during this hard time! I hope he will do it again this coming week when we head up to Hervey Bay to farewell Jim - a wonderful man and fantastic Grandpa.