bubbanoble: Breastfeeding Journey

For over the last 6.5 years I have either been pregnant or breastfeeding. For the last 6.5 years I have had this unique, close bond with my kiddies - either with them inside me or with them having milk that only I can supply. Today I decided that Alexander should probably stop breastfeeding. He isn't waking at night so much anymore and when he does before 12am I have been giving him water instead of milk. This and cuddles have settled him. I am thinking it will help settle him after 12am too. In the mornings this last week, James has gotten Alexander up in the morning. He has been distracted and so hasn't asked for milk. Instead I have been the one to ask him if he would like milk. He has said yes each time, but I think if I didn't offer it, he wouldn't miss it. So I think now is the right time to finish breastfeeding him. I think he is ready to finish breastfeeding and I think if I don't do it now then he might become dependent on it again.

So this morning before I gave him milk I told him that it was the last time that I was going to give him milk. He said ok then fed. I had some tears while feeding him but also just made the most of looking at him and enjoying the moment. I loved the way his eyes looked up at me. I loved the way that his hands fiddled on my neck and chest while he fed. I loved the little grin that he had when I asked him what he was doing. I am still amazed at how babies breastfeed. How they can suck without biting, how my body can produce milk that he needs.

I have loved this time of feeding him. I have loved this special bond with him - with all of the kids. I have loved being needed by them in such a unique way. It's kinda selfish, something that only I could do. But I have also loved this special time with each of my kids. The cuddles at any time of the day, the time to just look at my kids, the time to play with their fingers and their toes.

I am so glad to have had this time with each kid, even through the hardships of not having enough milk in the early days and struggling through those days before motillium boosted my supply. I am so glad that each of my kids liked being breastfed. I am so glad that they did it for a long time. I am so glad that none of them were big biters.

So tomorrow morning I will wake, cuddle my little man and read him a book or play with him or give him breakfast straight away. But what is the bet that he will wake tomorrow morning and ask for milk and I will go through all this again in a few weeks/months time.

Here are some photos of my feeding journey with each of the kids.
Daniel