I have come to the conclusion that we won't be able to paint the front of the house before Beanie comes, like I had hoped and planned. Mostly because we have been busy each weekend since getting back from Hervey Bay in January and also I don't think it is safe for me to be painting on a ladder. With that thought process done, it has made me feel a bit better about what needs to happen before Beanie comes and that it can be done even though I'm really sad that it won't be done. It's on the 'to-do' list for after Beanie is born.
The other night I also finished Eliza's quietbook which I had hoped to complete before I went into hospital to have Beanie. We will give her the book when she comes in to visit (and have Daniel's one for when he comes to visit too).
We have started to get into Beanie's room to organise it which is a very overwhelming process. As it has been our 'junk' and 'storage' room it has a lot in it. We have started to go through the different boxes on the shelves and declutter the space. I'm hoping that in the next few weeks the clutter will be gone and the room will be ready to decorate, fill and be ready for Beanie. When this is done I will feel much more at ease I think.
Today I had another appointment with Dr Booker. All is looking good. Beanie is growing well, its heartbeat is strong a sounding good, it is moving a lot. My glucose test came back all fine and my blood pressure is looking good at the moment too. Rhonda had me meet a training midwife names Amanda who seems lovely. She came in for my appointment and felt Beanie. Rhonda then asked if I'd mind having Amanda journey with me over the last trimester and for the birth. I am more than happy for that to happen, especially after having Tanya for Daniel's birth. The program is amazing, Tanya was a fantastic support to us both and I feel that prac is the best way to learn. So I am happy to have Amanda there - but it has made the whole situation a bit more real. My next appointment is in around 4 weeks which is around the time my blood pressure starts to go up. Hoping it won't this time but we will wait and see.
I have also had an appointment with a foot specialist because I woke up about a month ago with a lump under my foot that was very painful to walk on. This was putting my pelvis out because I wasn't walking properly on it. Paul referred me to a specialist who looked at my foot and thinks it was a cyst but can't be 100% sure. He wants me to get an mri. Today I called up to book this appointment but the mri people aren't keen to do it while I'm pregnant so I will need to wait until after Beanie is born to go and just double check that it isn't anything major.
Daniel also had an appointment this morning with a speech pathologist. Up until Christmas some people found him hard to understand. He was also a big dribbler which isn't normal when 3.5 years old. Since Christmas his speech and clarity seems to have taken off which is great and since starting preschool his dribbling has decreased. We kept the appointment just to be safe. The speech pathologist said that he is at the level expected which is good, just needing to develop the sh sound but that will probably come as he gets closer to 4. He did well during the testing, however, I think he was nervous so he was very fidgety, jumpy and just couldn't sit still. I found this hard to see as he isn't normally this bad and my teacher brain couldn't switch off from thoughts of kids who couldn't sit still in class and what that might mean. But I think it is just him being young and nervous as well as a bit excited. His preschool teachers haven't mentioned that this is a problem and at home he can sit still for periods of time so yeah. I won't worry too much about that. They have just mentioned that it would be good to see an ent to check that all is ok as he does still snore loudly and he sounds a bit nasal. That appointment is booked for early May. Hopefully it will be before Beanie comes (it's booked that way).
I was thinking today about when I was in hospital with Daniel and there was a mum there who had just hard her third bub. Not only did I think 'she's crazy' when I heard that she had 3 kids but I also remember asking her 'does it get easier?' She told me that it did and that you just go with your gut and go with the flow. I have used this with both kids and I hope that I will continue to use it with Beanie - to trust my instinct, to go with the flow and to do the best I can. I also hope that if there is a mum in hospital at the same time as me who is struggling or worried, that I can also give some encouraging words to them like that mum did as I'm not the 'crazy' one.
The other thing that I have been thinking about is with Daniel. Lately he has started to have some pretty massive meltdowns, most of the time when he needs to go to the toilet or has been asked to do something that he doesn't want to do. This has taken me by surprise as Daniel is my gentle, calm boy. When having this meltdowns he will scream, kick and even hit me. He hasn't hit James or Eliza, just me. It has upset me when he does it, especially as I don't know where it has come from and I don't want it to become a habit as he grows up. We have started to put him in thinking time when he does hit as it is wrong. The interesting thing is as soon as he's in thinking time, he calls out that he wants a hug from me - the person he just hit. I still leave him for that time but then after the minute or 2 I go to him, chat with him about why he was upset, that it's ok to be upset but it is never ok to hit and then we think and talk about strategies when he gets upset - deep breaths, counting, etc. It is exhausting to do, and exhausting to experience but I think our persistence is helping as today he had a big meltdown with screaming, but he didn't go to hit me at all. Hopefully it settles. I am glad though that he hasn't done this to other people or in other places, just with me and at home.
Anyway, new experiences, lots of thoughts, so many appointments, many tears, lots of laughs, changes to come.
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