This week James went back to work. After 4.5 weeks of him being around it has been different not having him here. It has been a little bit hard but I have been surprised at how well I have handled it. Keeping busy has helped out too.
On Monday we went to see the pediatrician to have Daniel checked out as he was referred by the gp. He looked at Daniel and said that everything looks good besides him being on the skinny side. Being skin and bones on his arms and legs he said that Daniel wasn't getting enough food. He asked how I was feeding him and I told him about how I was needing to wake him to feed. The pediatrician told me to go to demand feeding and to only feed 10 mins each side then express 10 mins each side and give him what was expressed. He also said Daniel needed to get a urine test just to check he didn't have an infection. He also told me to continue taking the motilium so that my milk supply doesn't drop as we need him to put on weight.
I was listening to him but wasn't really processing everything until after I left. Last time we did demand feeding, Daniel only fed 4-5 times in a day and he lost weight. This really scared me. It didn't make sense to decrease the amount of times he feeds to put on weight. And it went against the lactation consultant's instructions, who I would think knows about feeding.
We went straight to the SAN to get the urine test. As I was on my way to a group postnatal session I was thinking it would be a quick in and out so left the nappy bag in the car. Wrong! Daniel had done a massive poo so they couldn't take a sample. They gave me the bags to try and collect some at home and bring it back in.
We then headed to the group session. This was a follow up group with the psycologist that I went to during prenatal times. The postnatal group was with 4 other mums and their bubs. It was pretty good just chatting with them about each of our experiences. I met another lady who has had similar problems with her daughter not putting on weight and having difficulty with feeding. It was nice to hear that it isn't just me. We have swapped numbers and plan to message each other to see how the other one is going. Hopefully she is going well.
After the session we went to Grandma K's place for lunch. That was a lovely time. Daniel slept during lunch and then I woke him to feed. It was nice chatting with Grandma and learning more about her life. I never knew that she and Grandpa only went out for a year before they got married. She is also very proud of Daniel. She took great pleasure pushing him in the pram to go back to the car and stopping to show him to anyone we passed. Love it!
That night James and I sat down and had a chat for around 1-1.5hrs to discuss whether we do demand feeding or not. After a lot of tears from me, a lot of what if chats, James said 'we haven't got anything to lose by demand feeding'. We decided to try it and see what his weight was on Wednesday. If it dropped we were going to call up again and chat with the pediatrician to say that it wasn't working. I just couldn't get out of my head that he lost weight last time. It was really stressful for James and I and such an area of unknown. I struggled with thinking that I hated the idea of causing Daniel to lose more weight.
Tuesday Mum came around and helped around the house. I attempted to catch Daniel's urine sample and succeeded. It took a while of just standing there holding the bag over him and telling him that he got no food until he gave me some wee. What a bonding experience. He was eventually a good boy and provided for me and Mum was a champ and took it to pathology while I fed him. It is so lovely having mum help by cleaning the house. It makes the house feel nicer. I hope I can be like her and when Daniel is a dad I can help him out around the house.
Wednesday saw James work from home so he could come to the appointment with the community nurse as we didn't know what this would hold. I was expecting Daniel to have lost weight and therefore have the formula chat. We updated her on all the appointments we had had then did the weigh in. Daniel had put on 100g in 2 days, 150g in a week. I didn't believe it so asked him to be weighed again. It was right. He had finally passed birth weight! 2 weeks too late, but still, better late than never. They were very happy with the progress, as were we. We changed to feeding plan to continue to be demand feeding, but to do 25mins on the first side and then up to 25 mins on the 2nd side. I then only express if I feel up to it. Hopefully this will be the last plan for a while!
Thursday was a busy day! Jayne came to visit (she has moved to Qld so popped in to visit). It was a lovely to see her and Daniel enjoyed cuddles with her. We then went to the Thursday mothers group session. There were some new people in the group and some who were there 2 weeks ago. It was a nice session though. We then went out for lunch which was lovely. Part of me is worried though that a mothers group isn't going to form from it. I'm not too sure who would be up for it. Most of the mums sound like they are planning on going back to work. I want to join a mother's group. I have seen how beneficial it has been for both James' and my sisters as well as other friends... I guess I will just wait and see. As James said, I still have 7 weeks there to hopefully form good friendships and a mothers' group. After coming home for a feed we then went to Mum and Dad's for dinner. I love how much my family is taken by Daniel. He is a very loved little boy - even when he is really upset and crying lots.
Then today was hard. Last night we had what sounds like a normal baby. I fed Daniel in the night and for the first time he just wouldn't settle. A couple of times I put him down, waited and he looked like he was sleeping well, climbed back into bed and then he started crying. This happened a couple of times. The funniest time was when I got up at 3:30. Fed Daniel for an hour, settled him, and returned to bed. He then started to cry. James rolled over and asked me if he was due for a feed. I told him that he was very unobservant and I had just fed him so no. :-p He again took a while to settle. This was just very different to what we have had so far. I was also worried about James being woken as he had to go to work. I guess we again can't complain as it was only 30mins each time, but it was a shock to the system after having such a good time. Then today he has continued being a bit unsettled. My cousin Kimberly and my friend Liz came to visit and he enjoyed his cuddles but also cried a fair bit. After Liz he woke himself up after a short sleep so I took him for a walk to try and encourage him to sleep. In the 45min walk he didn't sleep, instead sat there wide eyed. Then when I get to the shops to buy some things for dinner, he fell asleep. (I was expecting the opposite and he'd start crying so I was happy with this option). I am finding it hard to know what he is wanting. I don't know why this has suddenly changed, but it has. I am going well with the feeding, and he seems content after feeding. He then enjoys a short play. He is doing amazingly well with tummy time! Lifting his head so very well! But he will then become a bit unsettled. I wrap him and pat him but then he just cries. He will smack his lips together and move around a lot. I don't know if he suddenly becomes hungry again, has tummy pains or is just too sleepy and can't get to sleep properly. I just don't know. I hope it will settle soon and I can understand him soon.
So overall I have survived my 1st week at home without James during the day. Daniel has put on weight! Hoping it continues. We are doing well and am hoping for a good nights sleep.
Sorry for such a long post!
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