Smiles

Today James and I think that Daniel gave us read smiles, like he meant to smile. This was very exciting and very cute, but also very hard to capture on camera. It was so nice to watch him enjoying his time with James this morning, particularly as James heads back to work tomorrow.

Here is a short video of him smiling. It happens around halfway through so yeah. We were pretty excited and I can't wait for him to start smiling more. Bring on the next few developmental weeks.

It looks like James is being really rough but he wasn't. And you can see that Daniel enjoyed it.
 
Tomorrow James heads back to work :( I have really loved him being around these past 4 weeks (3 weeks that I've been home). He has been so helpful, getting the bottle and pump, changing Daniel's nappy when I can't be bothered to get up to do it (or if I can tell it is going to be a gross one), preparing lunch, getting me drinks and food, looking after Daniel so I can have a shower, taking Daniel out so I have have a rest or a nap, etc. I could continue on with the things that James has done. It is going to be different not having him around. I am going to miss him and miss our down times together in the afternoon. I'm going to miss seeing him hang out with Daniel in the mornings, but I guess we just need to make sure that it happens on the weekends. 

I also just realised that the sneezing video didn't work from when he was back in hospital so here it is again. Daniel is 2 days old. I still think it is so cute! I love his sneezes. Definitely his Daddy's boy.

The end of appointments week

This week has been mentally draining. So many appointments (like what I wrote about last post). 8 appointments over 5 days to be exact.

The appointment with the GP went well. Dr Betts looked at Daniel and checked him all over and said that he can't see anything wrong with him besides being a bit skinny. To be safe though he referred us to the the pediatrician so I am off to them on Monday with Daniel, just to be on the safe side. I went and saw my GP on Friday to follow up the chat about possible postnatal depression. This week has been a lot better and both James and I felt that I have coped well with a lot of stress. After chatting with Paul, he felt that it isn't a concern anymore either which was good. He also checked my bp - back to normal, yay! And also my blood sugar levels and that was normal too which he was pleased with. I also had an ultrasound to check for any left over bits inside me after labour because that can affect milk supply. Fortunately that ultrasound also showed that everything was clear which was also good news.


The ultrasounds that I have been getting for lumps in my right breast has been helpful too, although I still have lumps each day which I need to massage out. But it was helpful and broke down some larger lumps. I just need to keep an eye on them and continue to massage them during feeding and also in the warm shower. The physios were very lovely and helpful and Daniel was very good during each appointment - sleeping through them.


The other good news is that I was able to express 90mL after each of the ultrasound appointments. But also on Friday I was at the dr and then ultrasound appointments so didn't have time to go home and feed Daniel so James gave him the bottle and I expressed. I was able to get 125mL which is above what is expected for Daniel to have. He should have 100mL. This made me feel better as my milk supply has obviously increased. Hopefully it will be enough for him.


On Friday Daniel was 1 month old. It is crazy how quickly that time has gone and how much he has grown and developed just in that month - even with not gaining weight. The way that he is fixing his eyes on different things, a small way for him to interact with us. He is also starting to play. We have put the mobile over him during floor time. He doesn't quite know what to do, but he has an idea of what is expected. He raises his arms but just doesn't hit the different parts, usless it was an accident.

As it is the last few days before James goes back to work we decided to go for an adventure. We drove down to Berowra Waters and decided to go for a short bushwalk. This was our first use of the Ergo which was also fun.  Daniel was very content in it and made us very warm when we were carrying him.

Swap over time

I love James' photos of Daniel!

Yesterday we went to Crosslands and did a short walk too. Next week we are hoping to go back there and have a longer walk as well as lunch. We will see how we go.


I have also started to read books with Daniel. The first reading that we did he wasn't too happy - cried the whole time.

I am finding it hard to express after feeding. Not because it is hard to do but because it is hard when I want to interact with Daniel, pick him up, cuddle him, etc. I guess I will be able to work something out but yeah, it is different to just finishing feeding that then being able to hang out with your baby.
We then read again yesterday and he was much happier. He sat with me and listened to the books. Again today we read a couple more books and he was quite content during it. I am loving this time and loving how he will look at the book but also look up at me as I read.

 

More appointments

So Daniel is 4 weeks tomorrow and he is still so cute! He has started to find his tongue and has fun just playing with it, poking it and swishing it around. He is also starting to focus his eyes on different things. He loves the mobile from Nana J and Boompa.

Great distraction when getting changed

He is also starting to focus on people when they are talking to him. He loves looking at James and I which is so lovely to have.

Enjoying tummy time

He still loves his baths with Daddy

After Friday where he had another appointment and lost 50g more, today we had another weigh in. Today was exciting because he had put on 150g from his last appointment, and 200g since Friday! What a change of news! We even double checked the scales because we weren't convinced that we read it right. But we did. Go Daniel!

However, even though this is good news, we still have a lot of improvements to happen. He still isn't back to his birth weight which is a concern as he is 4 weeks tomorrow and he should have been at birth weight at 2 weeks old. He also doesn't wake at feeding time. I have to wake him all the time, every 3-4 hours. This would be awesome if he was putting on the weight, but he hasn't been. The community nurse is concerned about how much he is sleeping, which has been concerning James and I a bit too. We have booked an appointment with the GP tomorrow morning to get a full body check to see if there is anything wrong. We have also booked an appointment for me to get an ultrasound to see if there is anything left inside me from the birth, because that can decrease milk supply. I have started medication to boost my milk supply so that he should be able to feed pretty easily so we will see how that goes.

I have also been attending physio to get some lumps massaged out. The lactation consultant was a bit concerned about how they keep coming back, so I have gone to physio yesterday, today and will head back tomorrow. Hopefully it will get those lumps down and I don't have to massage them each feed like I have been doing.

So I am now to feed Daniel 10mins each side, twice, offer 5 mins and then express 10mins each side. I am to give Daniel 50mL of expressed milk after each feed - even night feeds. If he isn't keen on the idea of eating I am to give him 100mL expressed milk. Hopefully he will be happy to eat though.

So basically that's where we are at at the moment. So many appointments, so much money going to appointments, but it is worth it because it is important for us to look after our little man. Anyway, it is feeding time now. Hopefully all will go well.

Deflated

So Daniel had his weigh in today and I am feeling a bit deflated by it. I thought that with all the hard work we had been doing, the increase in feeding and the regularity of feeding that he would have made good weight gain. The positive is that he has made weight gain. He has put on 80g, but to me that isn't a huge gain. So he is now 3.55kg. I know I should be more positive and everything but yeah, just not what I thought would happen. Tomorrow is a new day. So I'm still to feed every 3hrs in the day, 4hrs at night, for 30mins each side then 10mins the first side. Then after some day feeds I am to express to have the option of topping him up. Tonight I expressed 40mL so that is good to know that my supply is going well. I also didn't get heaps out of the first side so that tells me that he is feeding well to drain most of the first side, like it is expected. So they are the positives.

We also went to see Paul, our Dr again, to follow up his eye. He isn't 100% sure that it is conjunctivitis. The results from the swabs had both possibilities so we're to keep up the eye drops (which seem to be improving it) but also keep an eye on it and return to him if it doesn't clear up.

I also chatted with Paul about postnatal depression stuff as James and I were a bit concerned after hospital as 2 midwives commented about my anxiety and how it was a concern for them. Paul was good. He listened and heard what James and I had to say. I have had 5 pretty good days in a row which was nice. He wants to review it in a week, but he thinks it is more the situation that is making the anxiety, not internal conditions. So we are going to keep an eye on me for the next week and will then re-visit Paul on Friday to go through a checklist (for formalities) and chat about how I am feeling.

So that's where we're at at the moment.

The opposite to Biggest Loser

In the 3 days of being home before our weigh in, Daniel put on 160g which the lactation consultant was very pleased about! She then wanted me to change to demand feeding and instead of timing the feeds, have Daniel drain one side and then offer him dessert if he wanted it. This was very tricky to do as I had no idea when he had 'drained one side'. It seemed like he used me as a dummy a lot so I didn't know if he was actually drinking or if he was just happy sitting there sucking or chewing. But we persisted. We have also learnt that in these early days Daniel is a champion sleeper (we are hoping it can stick around but are not too sure if it will). When he is asleep, he will happily stay asleep for 5-6 hours which was awesome at night! I was getting 7-8hrs sleep each night. Yes it was broken sleep, but it was still the normal amount of sleep. But as a result, Daniel was only really eating 4-5 times a day (newborn babies should be eating 7-8 times a day).

On Tuesday Daniel was weighed again by the community nurse. He had lost 50g over 5 days. This was not so good. While she said she doesn't like to focus on numbers, she also mentioned that it wasn't good that he had lost weight. So we came up with a new plan (although it was the old plan). I am to feed 30mins each side, then offer 10mins of the first side. That should be enough for Daniel to be full. During the day I am to wake him up every 3 hours for a feed and at night every 4 hours. It is so much harder to wake to an alarm at night than a crying baby! It is crazy how much harder I am finding it. I am also feeling a lot more tired doing feeding this way and am pretty much feeling like a cow - just providing milk all the time. But I guess that is my new job for the time being. The bonus is that Daniel is pretty good at going back to sleep at night which we are loving. James and I made a deal that if he wasn't settled once I put him down after feeding, James would go and settle him. In the 2 weeks I've been home, James has had to get up twice. So not fair (but I am glad that James has been able to sleep). Again, hoping this will continue through, particularly when James goes back to work in 2 weeks time.

Since being home we have had a lot of visitors and have been out a few times. It is nice to get out of the house. I think that has helped me to feel better knowing that I'm not just stuck at home. One of the highlights for me was going on a picnic with our families. Mum, Dad, Jenny, Howie, Oscar, Malcolm, Julie, James, Daniel and I headed to Wedding Park on the Wednesday after we got home for lunch - Chicken Burgers. I fed Daniel before we went and then he slept the whole time. He was very happy to be passed from proud grandparent to proud grandparent too. I love it how both James' and my families get along so well. I know that it doesn't happen with all in-laws but we are very blessed.

All dressed up, ready for his first adventure.

I love this photo of mum and Oscar playing in the leaves!

Picnic time.

Proud Grandparents

3 generations of Noble men.

We also took Daniel for his first walk. James absolutely loves the pram that we got. It is very handy, very easy to move around, and very easy with the capsule, especially when Daniel falls asleep in it. I am looking forward to going for more walks, I just need to get the motivation to get up and go.

 Another thing I am loving is seeing Oscar interact with Daniel. He was hesitant at the start but each time we see him, he seems to feel a bit more comfortable with touching Daniel and a lot more curious about him. Things like feeding Daniel - Oscar was very curious about how that happened and how long it went. Also how he will sleep. I have just loved the questions Oscar asks and little things like making Daniel a camera from foam blocks - his way of showing he cares about him. I just love it! I can't wait for Maddie to meet Daniel and see them interact together too. 

 One other very special moment was at Cathy's 30th birthday party. Hug-a-Doug and Doreen were there. They are 2 people who have had a big impact in Jenny, Cathy and my lives. They are like our adopted Grandparents and Hug-a-Doug is always ready to give a big hug. At Cathy's party I asked Hug-a-Doug if he wanted to have a hug with the newest member to the clan and he was happy to give a hug. He was totally taken by Daniel. It was just beautiful to see how gentle he was and taken by each of Daniel's features (and Doreen too).

It is just so special to see how supportive the older generations are of our kids, and how they want to still make an impact on their lives. It made me miss my Grandpas though - wishing they were able to meet Daniel. But I am lucky that my Grandmas are still around and that James' grandparents are still around. I am looking forward to heading to Hervey Bay at Christmas time to show off Daniel and have him meet his great grandparents up there, and he was lucky enough to meet Granny and Boompa in the hospital.

Special moment

 Tomorrow we have another weigh in for Daniel. I am really hoping that he has put on weight and that I can change the feeding at night to be demand feeding, but the day time ones to stay at 3hrs. I just want our little man to be healthy. He also has either conjunctivitis or a blocked tear duct in his right eye. We say Paul about it (my GP) and he took a swab so that we know. We have had to give Daniel eye drops, which he has taken quite well, to clear it up if it is conjunctivitis. We see him again tomorrow too to find out what it is and to chat about a plan of action if it is a blocked tear duct. I hope he's ok. Atleast he doesn't seem too phased by it.

Hospital

We are 2.5 weeks in and I am starting to get a hang of this mum stuff. I really think that is due to the amazing support that I have around me.

My hospital stay was both helpful but overwhelming. The midwives were lovely and so caring and understanding of the different questions and many tears that came around. But it was hard having so many different opinions as each person has their own way of doing things. The first night Daniel was unsettled so after trying to feed him, but no milk available, he was taken to the nursery so I could get some sleep. In the morning he was brought back to me, but I still couldn't feed him, even with the midwife's help. She suggested that I go to a breastfeeding class, which I did. That was very helpful! We had some skin to skin time which was very special and then we tried to have him attach and he did! Very exciting moment. I went back to my room and was able to have him attach on the other side too. Yay!

Skin to skin time

We snuck Jens in for a visit which was lovely. She is such a proud Auntie!

Tanya came to visit us too to check on us and Daniel and chat about the labour process and answer any questions we had. She was so lovely! Dr Booker also checked on me and was happy with how things were going.

 In the afternoon Mum and Dad (aka Nana and Poppy) came to visit and have cuddles. And Jenny came again :-)

The next few days were a roller coaster ride. I had my up moments and my down moments. Some of the cuter moments were when Daniel cries, his bottom lip quivers. He also has the cutest sneeezes! I caught this on camera when I was filming him having hiccups.

 

Daniel loved his first bath! It was a class on how to do it, but we were blessed in that noone else was there so it was a personal lesson.

Oscar came to visit but was very hesitant to touch Daniel. He just looked at him from a distance and with us asking questions like 'Are Daniel's eyes open?' 

And Howie has decided that he is going to be called 'Uncle Awesome'.

My beautiful Year 1 buddies came to celebrate in style with Chocolate milk and mint slice (that sums up our Year 1 times). Sadly Daniel decided that he wanted to eat and a number of people came to visit as a surprise so it was rather stressful! Resulting in me being very emotional as I needed to feed Daniel, he was very upset, I wanted our lovely visitors to cuddle Daniel, etc. It was just too much. James was wonderful and took everyone to the cafe so I could calm down and start feeding Daniel.

Saturday saw Daniel 'watch' his first AFL game. James and I hope that as he grows up, he will enjoy AFL and join the Gower clan at the games.

On Sunday we were going to be going home, however, Daniel got weighed at night and he had lost more than 10% of his birth weight. With discussions with Cathy, one of the midwives, Dr Kehogh (Dr Booker's obstetrician colleague) and our pediatrician it was decided that we'd stay in for another day. I worked closely with Deb, one of the lactation consultants to try and feed Daniel more. This involved feeding 30mins both sides, 10 mins both sides and then express for 10 mins both sides and give Daniel the expressed milk. The hope was that he'd put on weight in the next day.
 
The other lovely thing on Sunday was that James' parents arrived and came for a visit and cuddles. It was lovely to have them here for a week!

On Monday morning Daniel was weighed again and this time he had put on 25g. Because it was on the up and James and I were going to continue the feeding routine we had done that day, we were allowed to go home on Monday morning. His new weight was 3.360kg. On Thursday we were to have a follow up weigh in to make sure he was still putting on weight.

Heading home was scary but great as we were starting doing things our way, in our space. Daniel was happy with the capsule and the car trip home. James did a good job with putting him in.

 When we got home Chilli was very curious about Daniel. We will need to keep an eye on her and have decided that she isn't allowed in Daniel's room - just to be on the safe side.

Asleep in his own bassinet. He looks so little!

 

Daniel Malachi Noble

So on Tuesday night at 9:45pm James and I went into the SAN hospital to get induced. We had the monitor put on for a while and then had to get changed in my pjs. 

They then put in the gel insert to try and bring on contractions. They then told us to try and get some sleep. James slept on the couch (which he actually got a fair bit of sleep) and I slept on the bed but only got a couple of hours as my brain was racing for most of the night. In the morning I got to have some breakfast and then they gave me a 2nd gel injection. At that point I started to feel some light contractions. After a couple of hours we were told to go for a walk to try and encourage the contractions. We went for a nice short walk around the hospital grounds. When we got back they tried to break the waters, however, had no luck. Our baby's head was in the way. After a couple of hours they sent us on another walk which took around an hour. Contractions were coming pretty frequently at that stage. When we got back they were going to try and break the waters once more but if not successful, they were going to give me another gel injection. Fortunately the dr was able to get around Bubble's head to make a small hole in the waters. Man, that felt gross! Pretty quickly the contractions started to get stronger and a lot more painful! Then the strategies came into play. Shower, bath, gym ball, music. Each distracted me for a little bit but then the pain was too much. I started asking for an epidural. It was suggested that I try gas first, so I did. It made me feel so gross. Not spacey like others have said, and not quite sick, just yucky. I didn't like it at all so only used it for 3-4 contractions. The pain was getting a lot more painful. Soon after they checked and I was 4cm dilated. By this point in time I was demanding an epidural (fortunately they were listening to me). The problem was that the anesthetist was in surgery so I had to wait for him. After an hour he arrived. By this stage I was screaming through each contraction. I really didn't know how I was going to do it! All the while James and Tanya were such an amazing and encouraging support. They stayed so calm the whole time! Just before he arrived they did another check and I was 8cm dilated. I was very quick to check that I could still get the epidural and fortunately it was still doable. The hardest part was having a contraction while they were giving me the needle and needing to stay still for it. It was SO hard to do. Again, so grateful for James and Tanya, as well as Sue the midwife who helped me through that. Around 30mins later the epidural began to take effect. I still had really bad pains down my left side of the back with each contraction - even with the epidural. I was checked and was still at 8cm so they put in the catheter. The bonus of having the epidural was that I got to watch the Block - highlight of labour I think! 
After the Block Sue did another check and she told me it was time to start pushing. She noticed that Bubble was posterior so she managed to turn his head the right way. Problem with that was that my contractions eased a bit (the pain down my back wasn't as bad). I told her she broke me. With team work, them holding the monitor on me to see when a contraction came and me feeling pains, we started to push. Wow, that was hard! Giving birth is like a marathon.  Andrew was there for the pushing and he too was very encouraging with each push. They commented early on that it was a blonde haired baby - neither James nor I were blonde as babies. With the pushes I was told to do 3-4 each time. They problem was that I felt like I was going to be sick after the 2nd push each time. And if you know me, you know that I don't like being sick. Fortunately I kept it all down. After an hour of pushing and being told 'you are so close' for most of the pushes, the Dr decided that I needed an episiotomy. I was so tired and sore by then I just told him 'I trust you, do it'. Then with the next contraction, and push, our baby was born. James got to cut the umbilical cord which was a special experience for him. We have a son - Daniel Malachi Noble. He is so cute! And very blonde. 

After a short amount of skin-to-skin time where I was told to blow lightly on his face to encourage a reaction, he was taken across to the resuscitation table to get some air and oxygen to try and encourage his lungs to work. Tanya was talking with James and I while this happened and Sue and Dr Booker were working on Daniel. 

After 7 mins they were happy with his heart rate and his breathing and he was brought back over to us. Daniel had his first feed which was such a special experience! He was such a quiet boy though, he didn't cry until he got his injections. 

So on Wednesday 27th June, 2012, at 9:58pm Daniel Malachi Noble was born. He weighed 3.79kg and measured 52cm long. 

James then got to have some cuddles when I got to eat my dinner (finally - this is at midnight) and have a shower (felt much better after the shower). 

First family self shot

We then moved down to the maternity ward. Once settled James headed home to get some much needed sleep and Daniel and I tried to get some sleep. I was up for that, he wasn't. At 1am Daniel was taken to the nursery so I could get some sleep. He was brought back at 4am for a feed but he wasn't up for that either. It was hard to know what to do. The midwife, Bronwyn, was very helpful and calm. She helped me with trying to feed him and settle him. Fortunately the SAN offer classes to learn different strategies and I went to a breastfeeding consultation which was very helpful. We learnt the importance of skin to skin time and then how to attach him. Daniel fed happily after that which was nice.

What an experience! Would I do it again? Yes, I think I would. Would I do anything differently? Yes - I'd get an epidural earlier so that I didn't have a contraction during the middle of it getting inserted. Do I feel prepared? As prepared as I can be but also quite overwhelmed. It is pretty crazy to think that I am a mum, James is a dad and we have a son!